Things I thought about when I couldn't get to sleep last night

1. Boy, our ceiling fan needs to be dusted

2. I never fixed that ceiling fan last summer, did I?

3. What did I have for dinner tonight?

4. Why can't I even remember what I had for dinner? What's wrong with me???

5. I wonder if I have a Vitamin B deficiency?

6. I should really write that picture book about the things people think about during yoga.

7. Maybe it's almost time to get up?

8. Meditate.

9. Meditate.

10. I can't meditate because I miss the knob on the radiator in our old apartment. That was my fixed spot to meditate on.

11. I can't use the fan - it's too dusty.

12. I should really start feeding that cat that lives outside; it sounds so sad?

13. Wait.. is that one of our cats? Did she get out?

14. Fake chicken cutlet with lemon caper sauce!

15. I wish I could make sauces like Leesil does.

16. This comforter sure is cozy.

17. Wow, I can't believe I just spent the last 10 minute completely organizing PCRM by desired outcome, organizational structure and budget.

18. Meditate.

19. Meditate.

20. I wonder if the dog wants to cuddle.

21. Did I count Germany when Leesil and I were tallying all the countries we'd been to?

22. Did I count Portugal?

How Stella Still Ain't Got Her Groove Back

One crappy day turned into a few more, then.. horror of horrors!... started rearing its ugly head in my sleep.

One of the things that I've come to value so much in the last few months is a good night's sleep. I can honestly say that I've been sleep-deprived my entire stay here in DC. I look back at pictures of me in the last two years and in every single picture, I have huge bags under my eyes.

I can pretty clearly see how it began and how it became such an issue for me. Our first apartment was FULL of mold, but it didn't become apparent how full until I would literally stop breathing in the middle of the night. I became convinced that the air duct return over our bed was the site of a serious concentration of mold, but the landlady would never really address the leaky roof. And the weird configuration of our apartment made moving the bed impossible. Our only other options were to move it into the room next to the kitchen (and the window closest to the partying' hippies house) or move it into the small room off the living room. We eventually chose the living room, and things cleared up somewhat. But I believe the damage had been done.

Paired with my inability to breathe was my stress about work. A simple cough would wake me up and lead to an entire night spent worrying about work, then worrying about the mold, then worrying about the effect both were having on my health, then back to worrying about work, then the mold, then my health.. it was horrible.

So now that I'm at a place - both physically and mentally - that doesn't lead to sleepless nights, I'm more grateful than I ever could have imagined.

Which is why one sleepless night turns into a nagging concern that MORE sleepless nights are right around the corner.

And the beat goes on.