One Surefire Trick To Know If You're Old

Slate.com, the news and culture website owned by the Washington Post,  is the king of misleading headlines. They must study the art of misdirection under Matthew Weiner. I can't tell you how many times I've clicked on a link only to realize that wow... I'm wasting time on something I wouldn't normally waste my time on.
Actually, HuffPo is the ultimate king of misleading headlines, but they mislead readers in so many ways that I can't even single them out for their HEADLINES THAT INSPIRE FEAR AND PREDICT THE DEMISE OF CIVILIZATION IN THREE WORDS OR LESS.


And we're off... to another topic!
Today, it was a great day in St. Pete. Working from home ennui has set in big time. A/C is a must-have during the day, and that drives me crazy. Even though my house has about 27 windows and there are beautiful unobstructed views of the back, front, and side yards, I still feel claustrophobic when I have to close the windows and breathe in recycled air all day. I start to swim around my enclosure like a polar bear at the Bronx Zoo - and we all know what happened to him.

I woke up this morning and decided to work for the day at a coffee shop, which was a great idea. I took a shower, put on some regular people clothes and spent a productive day sending letters to members. I saw friends, checked out what the kids are wearing, ate a yummy vegan BLT and just had a pleasant experience all-around.

After work, Leesil and I took the hound down to Straub Park for a walk and some more lessons in how to behave like a civilized dog. For the most part, he passed. Except when some lady went jogging by with her little 3 lb. white dog. Those little guys are a real gateway drug for Barksdale. He got a hold of one at the dog park once and took off with it in his mouth like he'd just hit a home run.
 As soon as I saw this one coming, jogging right past us, I grabbed on to B'dale with both arms and twisted my hands in his harness. Thank god, because he and I wrestled for a few minutes as he went after the guy. Whew.
Now, things like this tend to add fuel to mine and Leesil's simmering resentment toward each other, even when we're in perfect agreement that the runner was clueless and we could never trust Barksdale at a dog park and I did exactly the right thing by body slamming him preemptively and wow what a great team we are in keeping our crazyman dog under control. Yet, somehow.. maybe the adrenaline..... we're bickering 5 minutes later.
As we were when, out of the blue, this young tourist couple asks if Leesil can take their picture. I'm standing, ready to grab B'dale if he starts to lunge at them, while Leesil takes the pic.
A lot of questions ensue: Water background or trees? Is it too dark under this tree? Let's move over here.
I'm about ready to snark that they should make sure to get the Pier in the background because it's going to be demolished soon, but something told me to shut up.
And good thing I did, because just then, the guy falls to the ground on one knee and whips out a white jewelry box. Before he can even finish his shaky "Will  you marry m...", she's jumping in his arms and screaming "YES, YES, YES!" I'm crying, Leesil's crying and snapping more pics of the hugging, kissing, weeping newly betrothed couple and it's just a pretty great moment.
We leave them to their just-engaged status and walk away looking sheepishly at each other.
And that's when I know I'm old. If I was young, I would have asked if we could take a picture of them so that we could post THEIR story to our facebook pages. I would have tweeted "Just helped very nervous guy propose to his gf. #shesaidyes"

Instead, I'm an old lady, sitting on my couch, listening to my dog fart and sharing this sweet story the old-fashioned way - by calling you up on the phone and hoping to hell that damned Ellen isn't listening in on the party line.